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How To Turn Your Relationship Incompatibilities Into Strengths, According To Experts

By LAKEN HOWARD

When you love your partner, the idea of finding incompatibilities in your relationshipcan be scary. After all, doesn't "incompatible" roughly translate to "not cut out for the long haul"? Fortunately, the answer is no: while it's good to have core values that are aligned, when it comes to everything else, you don't necessarily have to see eye-to-eye with your partner in order to have a happy, healthy relationship — and, if you're willing to grow, your incompatibilities can actually become a source of strength.

Traveling with your partner is one of the many ways you can deepen your connection, so if you're more of a homebody, having a partner who likes to travel to be your guide can be super eye-opening. 

"If your partner has traveled the world and you have never even left your home state, then get ready for an adventure of a lifetime," Diana and Todd Mitchem, relationship coaches at EnariLove.com, tell Bustle. "If you would like to see the world and your partner is an experienced traveler, then you will have a blast planning and taking trips together to exotic destinations. Traveling and sharing the experiences will keep the relationship fresh and balanced."

 

7 Red Flags You Won't Experience By Your First Anniversary If They're "The One"

By EVA TAYLOR GRANT

While a lot can be judged about the future of a relationship based on what happens between you, a lot can be judged based on what doesn't happen, too. Relationship red flags come in all shapes and forms, but in the first year of a relationship in particular, there are a series of behaviors that are really important to look out for. And the absence of these same behaviors can be, well, a really great indicator of future success in the relationship.

Being on the same page is key. So if you have any trepidations about what level of commitment your partner and you have reached after a year, that's not a good sign. "If your partner keeps talking about getting more serious in a year or three years or are just not prepared to commit to a serious relationship, then this is a severe red flag," Diana and Todd Mitchem, Relationship coaches at EnariLove.com, tell Bustle. But if you've reached year one as a committed couple, and agree on plans to lease an apartment in the near future, you're off to a good start.

 

How to Stop Being Overly Aggressive During Marital Arguments

By Jeremy Brown

Remember: If you seek to always be the victor, it means someone has to be the victim.

Fights are an unavoidable part of any relationship. Spend enough time together, and sooner or later one of you is going to blow up. But, if you’re the kind of person who thrives on conflict, or someone who is naturally a bit more aggressive, then relationship disagreements can become way more complicated. So what can those of us who are more conflict-oriented do to keep ourselves in check during a fight?

Above all, it’s vital to keep the ego in check and to control that all-consuming need to win. According to relationship coaches Diana and Todd Mitchem, a little ego can be a good thing. “It can build confidence and help to give you a sense of belonging. But, if the ego is allowed to run rampant and get out of control, it can breed contempt and lead to sarcasm and the constant impulse to put your partner in his or her place.” That, of course, can be incredibly damaging to any relationship.

 

11 Subtle Differences Between A Toxic Relationship Vs. One That Just Needs Work

By CAROLYN STEBER

If your relationship is going through a rough patch right now, it might cause you towonder, "is my relationship toxic, or does it just needs some work to move past a few specific issues?" In both situations, relationships are likely to be rife with arguments, they might not be very fun, and they won't necessarily feel healthy.

"If your partner only cares about themselves, how [the relationship] makes them feel, what you can do to make them happy ... then this is a sign of a toxic relationship problem that can't be solved," Diana and Todd Mitchem, relationship coaches at Enarilove, tell Bustle.

 

11 Fun Date Ideas For Introverts

By CAROLYN STEBER

While you might think "date night" has to be all about going out to bars, trying to talk to your partner over the din of a crowded restaurant, or doing something social like attending ballroom dancing classes, there are also plenty of low-key date ideas for introverts that can be a good time, too.

When you're introverted, the idea of going out can be exhausting, so you might find that you and your partner prefer staying in. And hey, that's fine to do. But it's also important to keep date night alive, and occasionally make an effort to go out, or do something a tad more special — even if it isn't something an extroverted couple might do.

But it's also something you can recreate at home. "You can get a few canvases, paint, and brushes at your nearest craft store while making a pit stop at your liquor store for some delicious wine and voila: you have a date night with paint and wine," Diana and Todd Mitchem, relationship coaches at EnariLove, tell Bustle.

 

If Your Partner Does These 8 "Awkward" Things Around You, It Means They're Actually All In

By KRISTINE FELLIZAR

Some people make figuring out where they stand in the relationship a lot easier than others. If your partner isn't the direct and open-with-their-feelings type, it can make things a little more complicated for you. But if you've been with your partner for a while and you're wondering how to tell if your partner loves you, there are some things they will do to clue you in to how they feel. According to experts, all you need to do is pay attention to the seemingly awkward things they do around you. 

Nobody ever really wants to be put in awkward situations. But when it comes to relationships, awkwardness can be a really good thing. According to relationship coaches, Todd and Diana Mitchem, seemingly awkward moments in your established relationship should be seen as "magic moments" that signal trust and commitment. "It means that a special bond has been formed," they say. There's a level of comfort that comes with knowing you can have those awkward moments with someone and they still find you just as amazing and desirable as when you first met.

 

10 Things To Do In The First Year Of Your Relationship If You Want It To Last

By KRISTINE FELLIZAR

The first year of your relationship can clue you into how your relationship is going to be long-term. Making it to the one-year mark with someone isn't always easy. There are so many uncomfortable things you have to go through together to make sure you're equally in it for the long haul. According to experts, there are some essential things to do in the first year of a relationship  if you want it to last. 

 "Couples often spend a great deal of time attending to the reasons why relationships fail, but spend too little time thinking about how they can make new relationships succeed,"

 

If Your Partner Does These 8 Things Early On, You Deserve Better

By KRISTINE FELLIZAR

Dating someone new always feels great. But despite how good you feel about things, the early stages of your relationship are when you might want to be the most cautious. According to relationship experts, one of the biggest mistakes people make early on is ignoring the signs their partner isn't "The One."

"Often times in a relationship we tend to overlook the most telling of signs that the person is not right for us," relationship coaches, Diana and Todd Mitchem, tell Bustle. "But because we either see their 'potential' or we simply like other things about them at the time, we overlook some very telling things."

 

11 Relationship Mistakes Your Partner Might Make If They Don’t Love You Unconditionally

By CAROLYN STEBER - BUSTLE

 

We all want to be with someone who loves us just as we are. Someone who sees our quirks and understands them, someone who knows we aren't perfect and is OK with it, and someone who wants to make a relationship work, even when things aren't 100 percent easy. This is what's known as having "unconditional positive regard" for your partner. When that doesn't exist in a relationship, you might notice patterns that show your partner doesn't love you unconditionally. They might drop hints that they aren't fully invested in the relationship, or show signs that they don't truly appreciate you. And it can make it seem like the relationship isn't going to work out.

 

9 Subtle Signs You Might Not Be Intellectually Compatible With Your Partner

By KRISTINE FELLIZAR - BUSTLE

As you may know, compatibility in various aspects of your relationship is super important for couples to last long-term. For instance, having shared values and expectations for the future are two very basic things you and your partner need to see eye-to-eye on. Having great sexual chemistry is another and some even make it a point to date people with compatible zodiac signs. But according to experts, there's one really important thing that tends to get overlooked. In case you might not have known, intellectual compatibility in relationships is just as important to have as anything else.

 
 
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13 long-term couples reveal their secrets for how to make love last

By  Kristin Salaky - INSIDER

Making a long-term relationship work is a feat that not everyone can claim to have conquered. While relationship experts can tell you tips and tricks from their perspectives, sometimes it's best to go straight to the source. 

INSIDER spoke with real couples who are in long-term, committed relationships to find out their biggest tips to making a relationship last.

 

How To Tell If You’re In Love Or Just Emotionally Dependent On Your Partner

By KRISTINE FELLIZAR

It's hard to truly define what being in love feels like because it's different for everyone. Because of that, people can confuse being in love for something else like lust or compatibility. But are you mistaking attachment for love? According to experts, it's important to know for sure if you want to prevent yourself from falling into negative relationship patterns.

If you're emotionally dependent on your partner, you might feel jealous when they want to hang around other people. Even the most secure people feel jealousy from time to time. But if it's a constant thing, that can signal a problem. According to relationship coaches, Diana and Todd Mitchem, emotionally dependent partners feeling jealous happens because they don't feel fully safe and secure when their partner isn't spending their time with them.

 

7 Surprising Things That Might Cause Even A Loyal Partner To Cheat

By KRISTINE FELLIZAR

t's hard actually pinpoint what causes a person to cheat. You can look into someone's past, their career choice, or even the length of their ring finger to clue you in. But the reality is, it's pretty impossible to decipher who's going to be cheater and who's going to remain faithul. Because according to experts, anyone is capable of cheating. 

"The point of cheating is to satisfy some urge or need not being fulfilled in the relationship," Todd and Diana Mitchem, Relationship Coaching Experts, tell Bustle. 

According to them, some people in committed relationships are often tempted to use cheating as a means to escape. The Mitchems say that cheating may feel counterintuitive to them because it comes with guilt, fear, and the possible unraveling of the relationship.

 

7 Ways To Tell If You're In Love With Someone Vs. If You Love Them Unconditionally

By KRISTINE FELLIZAR 

When you're in love with someone, it's not uncommon to think that you're in a relationship of unconditional love. But according to experts, that's not always the case. In fact, there are some pretty major differences between being in love with someone and loving someone unconditionally.

Whether or not you actually choose who you fall in love with is debatable. But as we all know, maintaining a relationship takes a lot of work from both parties. Some people end up falling out of love because they're bored or their partner stops caring. According to relationship coaches, Todd and Diana Mitchem, unconditional love doesn't require one partner needing to constantly "woo" the other, or vice versa.